Cheer Up

Apparently around 88% of us feel less happy than we did before the recession hit, according to CSV who quote an ICM poll (describe themselves as The Country’s leading volunteer and training charity).

Well, fuck me?  What is surprising that a charity spent money on telling us what we already know: people are rarely happier when they have less money - they must’ve had a team of monkeys working around the clock on that one.

Perhaps the only surprise to come out of the poll was that 12% of people surveyed actually felt happier.  These are definitely the anti capitalists hippies who are too smug to notice the whole raft of word conflicts occurring as a direct result.

It’s hard to get solid data on happiness because different groups tend to distort the info.  For example the BBC used this in 2006 to show that the US has maintained (or even lost) a significant degree of happiness, whilst GDP increased, since 1957 - so money don’t make you happy, right?

As this study in the US shows there was a huge spike in happiness levels in the US in the 50’s which actually declined before leveling out.  So being at 1950 levels of happiness is actually quite good, although I accept not necessarily linked to GDP.  I suppose this is the leftist way of telling us we don’t need so much money, and shouldn’t be too upset if the reds tax us to dust.

What is also funny about the US study is that it shows people score praying at a similar level to lunch.  There’s got to be a few lies in there.  Eating is pretty much better than everything for me, even having sex makes me want to eat a kebab.

However, generally speaking people do seem to be fucking upset, about pretty much fucking everything, at the moment.  Now I’m going to break one of my own rules here, and blame this on one thing: -

The illusion of the possibility of financial equality.  

I put it on it’s own because I want it to stand out.  I did try a red font with gold glitter, but it started to look a bit silly, so I’m sticking with black.  You can cut it out at home if you like and do that, but I’m trying to be serious, so don’t impose your artistic sensibilities on me, luvvie.

Try any one of the better known Liberal commentators, who do seem to have the floor at the moment, you will be able to find comment about the lack of financial equality in the UK.  

In addition to this, the glorification of all things materialistic in any one of the red tops, leads us to think that we should all be rich.  We should all be at the top of our tree.  

One of the guys studying this recently is Charles Seaford, head of the Centre for Well Being at the New Economics Foundation.  He said having enough money to live seemed important, but "it seems that national wellbeing depends on quite a high level of equality" which sends the point home for me.

Basically our happiness depends on a fucking pipe dream.  Don’t get me wrong here, everyone should have the same opportunities, regardless of race, creed etc, BUT everyone cannot expect to be able to achieve everything they want. Not everyone can expect to have the same success as their neighbour.  What we should be doing is learning to live with it.  

Here’s a little scenario to demonstrate my point.  It’s The Olympics, you’re watching the 100m.  The race starts.  All the guys sprint to the end, at the speed of a coked up gazelle, and one narrowly beats the second place.  He’s overjoyed, he’s got what he worked for.  

The second one is crying, because he didn’t win.  He didn’t achieve what the guy in front did.  Not unusual?  of course not.  

Now look around you in the stadium, how many other people are crying because they didn’t win the race?  None.  Not a fucking one.  But why not?  the guy who is the second fastest in the world is devastated by it, but you aren’t even mildly upset.  In fact the guy who came last isn’t crying either? why the fuck not? The whole world saw him get his ass handed to him by Usain Bolt, but not a tear. Only number 2 is actually crying.  Why the fuck is this craziness happening? Why isn’t the whole world in abject depression?  Well the answers easy: because noone else expected to win.  The only guy that’s upset is the one who thought he should have won.

This is the affliction we are all suffering at the moment.  We all think we can have it all.  We all think we should win the race.   We get told by people, who should know better, that we can because they confuse what the redistribution of wealth really means.  It means that most people in our country would have less.  And as demonstrated above, they’ve convinced you it can happen, without you having less - the “rich” are going to fund it all.  

Sounds good?  sounds sexy?  more money and only those pig dog capitalist bastards are going to suffer?  Why didn’t we do this sooner? firstly if you exchange your work for money (wages) then you’re part of the system that they dislike.  

Secondly, different people are simply better at holding onto, and making more of, their money than others.  If you believe in freedom, then you should accept that this should be the case.  And if you want social mobility, you can’t take money off people at an alarming rate to fund anyone but the most needy, because money is what makes the world go round.

To end on a high note, let’s take a quick look at a very crude model of complete income redistribution.

According to The World Bank (oh yes, there’s a World Bank, presumably lends to alien cultures?) the global GDP is $58.26 trillion, or $58, 260, 000, 000, 000.  What if I told you I was in charge, and I was going to dish this out equally between you all?  You’d be happy?  let’s have a look at that.  The world population is:  6.775 billion (always rising too, check it out )

Ok so divide the 58.26 trillion, between 6.775 billion.  This comes to around $8624.  So you’d have an income of $8,624.  At todays exchange rate, that would be around: £5458.  

It’s worth noting that an income of £5,458 would be well below the standard of poverty in the UK, and is easily exceeded by most incomes of people on full benefits.  I think you’d tell me to stick my income redistribution up my arse.

I don’t know what the issue is when we’re all so fucking rich.