Double Concentrate

This is a public health broadcast.  I am here to warn you about the dangers of a new consumer product.  The evils of which have not been known to this planet, or any other until this date.  The pox of the food stalls and the poisoner of young children:  double concentrate juice.

It seems innocuous and timid on the shelf of the supermarket, perhaps even helpful, after all, who wouldn’t want a bottle of juice that lasted twice as long as a normal bottle?

Not until the corporations have confused your desires does the true ugliness of their invention reveal itself:  the true horror of absent mindedly drinking slightly stronger orange squash than usual!!!!!!

What can you do to prevent this from happening to you?  the obvious answer is not to buy the thing in the first place, but then you wouldn’t have a bottle with at least 60 servings of juice inside it.  So that would be utterly stupid.  So the only option left open is to acquire the only thing that can possibly defend you against it.

You lucky reader, know the Beard and The Beard knows the answer.  All you need to protect yourselves is to surround yourselves with friends and family, who are always prepared to scream “IT’S DOUBLE CONCENTRATE!!!! FOR THE SAKE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY, MAKE SURE YOU DON’T PUT TOO MUCH IN!!!!!”  in a manner that is entirely without justification (and should I add; annoying?), every single time you pour a glass of it. 

This, and only this, will keep you from the agonising fate of drinking slightly stronger squash than usual.

No need to thank me, you can thank me by keeping safe, and remember: Double the concentrate, double the danger.