The First Beard Blog

This is my first blog.  The very first Beard Blog.....  I suppose I’d better do some kind of introductory blog post, then.  

I am @Das_Beard, of Twitter fame (I have 1800+ followers at present, so I’m claiming it).  

I can’t quite understand why so many people are interested in the utter bollocks that spouts from my hirsute chops, but they are.  So I thought I might expand my Tweets into a full on post, a Twat, if you will?

So how did I get here? well that’s a funny story.  Sit back, relax, and let me tell you how it all began.

About 10 years ago I was working as a pet rodent farmer (PRF for short) in The Scilly Isles.  One of the issues that PRFs have to deal with, is rodent fetishists poaching the rodents for their deviant sexual practices (it was a celebrity craze in the early 90s).   After one particularly difficult night, fetishist beating, I sat down to read a medical journal, to wind down.  
I always try to keep abreast of the most interesting ways to die, in case I decide to become a musician.  
Whilst leafing through the journal, I came across an advert asking for people to take part in medical experiments.  

“That seems quite dangerous, for humans” I thought.  So I set my mind to solving the problem.  It was my Eureka moment, and it changed my life.  From that day on I cross bred the rodent fetishists, and the rodents (using a complex system of levers and pulleys), thereby inventing The Human Guinea Pig.  You’ve probably heard of it.

By the end of the week I’d made so much money that I left the PRF game for good, and moved to the mainland. Unfortunately this resulted in my hopeless addiction to Social Networking.  

You too can be part of that addiction, by following me on Twitter, or by simply reading The Beard Blog.....every.....single.....day.